Are You Committed?

Start a list of all the things and beliefs you are committed to. Really get out a sheet of paper and write them ALL down-- the beliefs you hold, the things you do, the people you know.

I dare you. On your mark, get set, go!

Now, check out your list. Are YOU on it at all? How much of your time and energy are spent on commitments to yourself — your health and wellbeing, your personal growth and development, your own R & R?

Chances are that commitments to yourself are a very small percentage of where you allocate your resources. The truth is, as women we generally put ourselves last on the list (or pretty close to it, anyway). Lest you think I am any better, I actually get busy enough that I literally forget to eat. How's that for putting yourself last?

In fact, by putting ourselves so low on the list, we may be shooting ourselves in the foot in terms of success. Studies show that successful leaders hold two commitments as the basis of their success: commitment to a set of values, principles and beliefs, and commitment to oneself, including self-growth and personal development. By taking care of ourselves, we grow in our self-confidence, which in part fuels our success by measurably improving our ability to support and give credit to others. You will support your customers and colleagues more effectively and get better results — without becoming that B-word we all dread being called.

But, what does committing to yourself look like? It means taking the time to celebrate your accomplishments and successes, to play, to dream, to learn, to experience joy in your daily life. Feeding our bodies and feeding our souls a healthy diet is a huge part of committing to ourselves. Go out and dance, jump rope, get a massage, take a hot bath, laugh with your girlfriends, hug your kids, sing at the top of your lungs, read a book, take a nap, eat a cookie, enjoy a piña colada in the sun in your backyard, run around in the rain!

I dare you to give yourself permission to make your own self a top priority in your life. Make a list of things that make you feel terrific, and then promise yourself you will do at least 3 of those things every day. You will see a difference.

I promise.

Deb Vincent Evans, aka Princess Geek, in her current expression of who she is, practices massage therapy at Stability Therapeutic Massage and is an educational technology consultant at Princess Geek, Guidess to the Technoverse. She lives on Fallen Apple Farm in Halfmoon with her partner, the Magicman, and her kids, horses, dogs and other assorted small beings that call her mom.

#ShesaBoss and #theGB blog

The Gift of Losing Your Balance; or Lessons Learned After a Fall

When you’re a massage therapist, breaking your arm is a complete tragedy. So what a disaster it was when I lost my balance. I fell. I fell hard and broke my humerus, quite badly, which frankly, was not very funny. Particularly since I depend on two working arms to perform my job.

Nope, not the first big fall in my life, but this time was different. I was different…and as it turns out, it has not been much of a tragedy at all.

Breaking my arm broke me free of the thought that I AM what I DO.  I truly had no idea of what a trap that was in my life, or how disempowering and limiting that was. 

It caused me to SLOW DOWN.  And slowing down, combined with the fact that I could not DO what I had defined myself as allowed me the space and time to realize something truly profound: I can always count on WHO I AM, and I am not defined by WHAT I DO.  The doing in my life (jobs and other roles women play—mother, lover, daughter, friend) can and does change, sometimes in an instant. But the key was learning to enjoy and appreciate the priceless value of WHO I AM and to be darn sure that what I do reflects that whenever possible. Might have taken me 45 years and one broken arm, but not such a price to pay for a gift like that; in fact, this latest fall and its effect on my life has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received!

Then there is the balance. When you can be fully aware of who you ARE some really cool things start to happen.  The winds of change no longer knock you off base. The inevitable criticisms of what you DO will cease to hurt, and will become simply information that you can choose to act on or ignore. Life becomes easier, and letting go of resentment and anger are effortless.

"If your DOING is consistent with your BEING, your days will be joyful"

...and your work will be a reflection of your true self.  Gratitude and love will become second nature, and things will flow with far less stress and upset. 

[My advice to you] SLOW DOWN.  Breathe.  Listen for the truths to come bubbling up and feel for who you really ARE. Step solidly into that beautiful you—trust me, once you’re standing there you can NEVER be knocked off balance, no matter how great the fall.

Deb Vincent Evans, aka Princess Geek, in her current expression of who she is, practices massage therapy at Stability Therapeutic Massage and is an educational technology consultant at Princess Geek, Guidess to the Technoverse.  She lives on Fallen Apple Farm in Halfmoon with her partner, the Magicman, and her kids, horses, dogs and other assorted small beings that call her mom.

Deb is one of the new bloggers for the Golden Briefcase and this is the first of her monthly work/life balance contributions. Help us show her a warm welcome by leaving her a comment!

#ShesaBoss and #theGB blog ©